Hookah's Myth Busting

I guess you won't be friends with hookah after you hear about all various bits of your body that can shrivel up and die due to excessive hookah-smoking!

Okay, okay. So many have shamelessly promoted hookahs and even went so far as to tell you how you can make one at home, but that doesn't mean I won't write about the ill-effects of smoking one, too. After all, you should know what you're polluting your entrails with! Then if you continue to puff them sheeshas away to glory, at least you'll be making an informed decision, thanks to me (so, howz it?)

The Workings of a Hookah

Now if that statement had another meaning, this write up would have been a lot more interesting and definitely not apt for those under 18 (not that it's stopped them or anything.) However, I've just been informed by my bosses that *thunderclap* THOU SHALT NOT MAKE ANY MORE SEXUAL JOKES, THY BRAIN IS THE BREEDING GROUND FOR FILTHY PERVERSITIES, ALTHOUGH WE MUST ADMIT THAT HOOKAH IS FUNNY! *snigger snigger*
Yeah, so the workings of a hookah are very simple really. Unlike a cigarette, in a hookah you do not inhale the tobacco directly. Basically, the flavoured tobacco is separated from the charcoal with a screen. When you inhale, the smoke from the heated charcoal passes through the tobacco, gets filtered by the water and then pops out of your pipe and mouthpiece where you make ringlets out of it to impress your friends.
Now people believe that since the contact with the tobacco is indirect, a hookah is safer than a ciggie. That's right, it is relatively safe, but that doesn't mean there are no ill-effects. And after you read what I have to say, you'll realise that your life will go up in smoke if you don't control your intake!

What does the water filter out exactly?


Regular hookah-lovers (hehehe) believe that the water in the smoke filters all the 'bad stuff' out. Which just goes to show that people will believe like, anything these days. *rolls eyes* So if I say that President Bush is secretly controlling Wal-Mart as part of his plan for world domination, people will believe me. (So, is he? I mean, you think so?) Water is primarily used to cool the smoke. It may filter out SOME stuff, like the tar from the coal, but it keeps most of the nicotine and the particulates/ toxins intact.

So lets figure out what's wrong with a hookah, since there's no smoke without a fire...


1. A cigarette lasts for what, four minutes? A hookah, on the other hand, goes on and on like an energizer bunny. On an average, a hookah is consumed for two hours at least. That is equivalent to smoking 30 cigarettes. If you dumb that down, it still comes up to 20 cigarettes. Which is still acceptable if you are a heavy smoker, right? Now for some myth busting. A WHO advisory claims that a typical one-hour session of hookah smoking exposes the user to 100 to 200 times the volume of smoke inhaled from a single cigarette. Therefore,
One hour of hookah = 100 cigarettes
Now, one cigarette reduces your lifespan by seven minutes
Therefore,
100 cigarettes = 700 minutes = 11 hours.
Therefore,
One hour of hookah = 11 hours of your life.

2. Nicotine. Addictive. Do the math. Its is quite possible to get hooked onto hookah, never to be unhooked again, while the nicotine does what nicotine does best - give you cancer.

3. Apart from nicotine, hookah smoke also contains high levels of carbon monoxide and the remainder of the tar that the water is unable to filter. According to Wikipedia, "Twenty two of twenty five cases of lung cancer in a study in India were among those who were regular hookah users." Dude, that's just scary man. Carbon monoxide is toxic to the human body, whereas tar can put you at a greater risk for heart disease and act as a carcinogen.

Apart from all that, a hookah increases the risks for:
1) Cancer of the lung, mouth and larynx.
2) Impotence. Yep Yep. You know what's keeping you down, boys!
3) Myocardial Infarction. Which means heart attack. I think. And cardiovascular disease. Which means the same. I think.
4) Gum infection. Which according to me is the most lethal of them all. Dentists are more painful than any other disease will ever be!
5) It reduces your memory and cognitive abilities, especially amongst adolescents. Didn't get what I just said, didja?

It is safe to assume that smoking a hookah is as bad as smoking cigarettes( or perhaps, more bad or devastating). Also, it's much cooler to stub out the 'cool tag' or whatever that influences your rendezvous with hookah. So, basically, if you know what's good for you, you'll limit your huffing and puffing to rare social situations or better still avoid it completely, for a hookah is not as safe as you might think!